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Also, the NEO-CON Confessional is now open for business UPDATE: Friday, November 19, 2004 - The polls are now closed. (What? You didn't get to vote? ...Tough darts!) Its pretty clear that as screwed in the head as the not sorry camp is, we can take comfort in the fact that only a handful of them know how to use the Internet. Several not sorry votes were rejected becuase the voter shot a hole in their online ballot with a shotgun. This left the final tally at 1,984 sorry to 80 not sorry. Because we had technical direction from the vote-masters at Diebold, you can be sure this vote was as fair and balanced as Fox News. Now if only we can do general elections on the Internet as well...
UPDATE: Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - The people of America have spoken and their message has been received with gratitude. At such a critical time, we expect our leaders to build and reinforce relationships that will demonstrate and harden our position of leadership in this world. And when they fail to fulfil these obligations, it is reassuring to see that the citizens of America can pick up the diplomatic slack. The people behind Sorry Everybody (www.sorryeverybody.com) have created a platform for viral diplomacy. And it's working. Europeans and people of other nations worldwide have responded with Apologies Accepted (www.apologiesaccepted.com). Our International counterparts have taken note and breathed a collective sigh of relief to see that despite the policies and posturing of a hard-right government, there is still sensibility in the masses. And they are genuinely thankful to hear the sentiments of Americans who realized that they whole world was watching the recent election and they too were shocked by its outcome. The grass-root diplomats on both sides of the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans realize that the only way to effectively quell the rising tide of terror is to work together in a united front. It is as simple as united we stand, divided we fall. And "united" does not just mean the United States. With a military that is quickly reaching full capacity and a twitchy economy that dramatically influences global markets, everyone realizes that even the United States cannot fight a global war on terror by itself. Despite a counter-movement from defensive neo-conservatives and further posturing from the White House, the diplomatic voice of Sorry Everybody has drowned them all out if only for a minute to get an important message out. A message that has been received with thanks. But the battle is not over. While George Bush takes advantage of his "mandate," he continues to cleanse his government of dissenters and noisemakers. A number of resignations have already occurred and the CIA is cleaning house of any non-believers. And now with Condi Rice taking her orders from Dick Cheney as Secretary of State, we can expect there to be a similar purge at the State Department as well. So far, new appointees are seen to be mostly "yes men" and we will likely not see anything but more of the same from them. So the role of the grass-roots diplomat is one to be watched over the next four years. Hopefully, the people can teach their leaders a lesson or two. As for the technology that has made this possible, even the hardest of Luddites would have to agree that this couldn't have happened without it. The Internet is not just about selling your junk on eBay after all. It is now a tool for keeping the peace which is rather ironic considering it originated out of the U.S. Department of Defense. So thank you to the folks at Sorry Everybody and Apologies Accepted. We are hoping this is to be the first of many e-diplomacy efforts to reunite the US with its friends worldwide. UPDATE: Tuesday, November 16, 2004 - notsorryeverybody.com is now just another dumb blog written by and for the mentally challenged. That's it. Nothing else to report. UPDATE: Monday, November 15, 2004 - At first they were simply not sorry (werenotsorry.com) but now they are not online either. Maybe they too have thrown in the towel which is too bad because their photo gallery of NRA wing nuts was pretty impressive. Fortunately, we got some of the pictures before they slipped into the dot com abyss. In other news, a similarly named site named www.wearenotsory.com has managed to construct the entire top portion of a homepage but as of yet has no content or links or anything else. Good going guys! You'll get there... someday! Oh, and still no site of kissmyamericanass.com. They may have won the election (we think) but they don't seem to cope well with all these darn Internets.
UPDATE: Sunday, November 14, 2004 - We have a new entrant! Oh joy! Please give a warm welcome to the latest member to come out into the light from the dark halls of the confederacy of dunces, sorryeverybodymyass.com. Welcome! We feel so complete now that you are here. The picutre is a nice touch and it pretty much tells the whole story, doesn't it? The shrub can't talk so goodly but he surely can stick it to them foren folks.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004 - Some of us -- hopefully most of us -- are trying to understand how our country was overrun by hard-line conservatives. The people who consistently fail to exhibit awareness or understanding of the world beyond their doorstep. The same people -- 59 million people, unfortunately -- who voted for George W Bush. While we could call them bible thumping hill-billies or slack-jawed yokels, that wouldn't be very nice (especially to hill billies and slack jawed yokels) and in the spirit of brotherly respect we will simply call them neo-cons, as in neo-conservatives. In our recent election, the neo-cons turned out in large numbers and signed themselves (and the rest of us, unfortunately) up to another four years of unilateral neo-isolationism. In doing so, they expressed their blatant disregard for the sentiment of the rest of the world. To the rest of us Americans who believed that this was a deplorable idea, we were all shocked and dismayed to find we were apparently in the minority. (BTW, we'll call ourselves the Dems but we'll also include the moderate Republicans who don't buy into this neo-con nonsense such as myself.) We Dems have been very concerned about the rapidly deteriorating opinion the rest of the world has of our nation. And now that it looks like we're in for another four years of it, we want to set the record straight. It is not ALL of us that are completely thick ...sorry, I mean [of this mindset] so please don't blame all of us. I think it was this thought that led to the creation of sorryeverybody.com, a web site which allows Americans to express their regrets to the rest of the world in their own personal way. Reassuringly, the concern for reaching out to the world has been strong enough for this site to become a victim of its own success. By the time I cam across it, the site was overwhelmed by the number of submissions and had temporarily stopped taking new ones. But while this impromptu grass-roots gesture has been received worldwide with heartfelt sincerity and reassurance, one plucky neo-con had to set the record straight. He likely feared (as neo-cons do) that any expression of goodwill such as this is actually an expression of weakness and this would eventually lead to terrorists coming up the drainpipe on his bath tub. From his identically styled web-site named notsorryeverybody.com, we gather his message to be something like: "We won! You suck! We won! You suck! The World? What is that? Never heard of it. Don't need it. We won! You suck!" Mind you, this is not an actual quote but rather a condensed interpretation.
werenotsorry.com This was soon followed by werenotsorry.com, a website which again copied the styling and concept from the original. The key differences being twofold: one, the sentiment is the polar opposite in that they all ARE NOT SORRY and two being that most of the pictures look like they came from the local county jail. So me being someone who doesn't like to miss out on a new trend, I decided to create notsorrynoteverybody.com, the site that responds negatively to the negative response. I would like to first congratulate the creators of sorry everybody for conceiving such a unique and promising idea. It is a true testament to the power of the Internet that we can make ourselves heard above the rhetoric of our leaders. I hope you get the submissions working again as I would love to add mine. Let me know if I can help in any way. And now I would like to speak to the creators of not sorry everybody and we're not sorry: Dear John (the first name of our friendly neo-con who would like the world to know he's NOT SORRY) and his friends at werenotsorry.com, I would first like to say that I admire your courage for saying to the world and all the nice and not so nice people in it that you don't give a crap about anything but yourself. Good for you! That takes guts! Nice guns by the way! You're a big tough guy, a man's man, aren't ya? And yes, we do realize that 59,762,740 citizens voted for a guy who can't speak in complete sentences. And even though it might just be that a couple of those votes were made in error (e.g. some places may have recorded more electronic votes for Bush than there were actual people), we accept that you have successfully screwed the country for another four years. Good job! And even though there are many of you who are reasonably intelligent and reasonably informed and yet for some mysterious reason you still vote for a simian for President, we think most of you were actually misled. See we do genuinely believe that most people hold no grudge against the kind people of this world and they do prefer peace to war. So, by simple deduction we have concluded that most of you just didn't know what you were doing. Let's face it, most voted for Junior because you thought -- as you said it -- you know where he stands and you trust him to keep the country secure. This is rather surprising since that first of all, not even the President knows where he stands until Dick Cheney tells him where he stands. Second, saying GWB has been strong on fighting terrorism is kind of like saying Stalin was good on population management. (For those not up on their history, Stalin was directly and indirectly responsible for the death of millions of Russians, Poles, etc. in the early 20th century.) I mean, what do we have to do to get Bush to focus on the job at hand? Do we have to drop bin Laden on the front lawn of the White House with a bulls eye on his shirt and a banner saying "Come and Get Me!" Actually, we'd need to drop it at the ranch in Crawford because his highness can't be bothered to work most days. And if you actually want me to think that you actually give a crap about the people in Iraq, you gotta a lot of convincing to do! Let's face it, if it weren't an oil interest, you would never have known where it was, would you? Oh, and I don't really see you doing a whole helluva lot about Darfur. "Where?" you ask. See that's what I mean. So John et al., to conclude, we forgive you. All of you, we know it was just too confusing. But please, next time, if you are looking for the real answers, don't just watch FOX. Read a book or two. Do some research. Check the facts not just the innuendo. And when you're not doing that, get a passport and go on a trip. Visit another country that's not Mexican (God forbid!). Most importantly John, stop speaking for everyone. Because you don't. You speak for roughly 1/6th of the nation of which the majority didn't even know what they were signing up to. As for the rest of you, (those with a brain but you still voted for the missing link) with the right help from us, we will show you why it is important to get along with the other people of this fine Earth. P.S. Gay people are not evil. They do not have anything more in common with the devil then your masturbating in the shower. Yeah, we know. It's all ok, John. The time for guilt and fear is over. P.P.S. werenotsorry.com - OMG! Who are these people??? I have never seen such a bunch of rednecked baboons in my life! Who taught you how to use the Internets? Let me ask you this: When I submit my photo, do I HAVE to pose with a weapon or can I just stand on a bunch of naked and bound Iraqis? Please visit sorryeverybody.com and let them know that you're in favor of sending the right message to the world. While you're at it, be sure to stop by numbnuts's website ...sorry, damn Tourette's, I mean Mr. Petersen's web site at notsorryeverybody.com. Unfortunately, he has left no means of submitting anything so you'll have to send your submission via email to him in Pennsylvania (a blue State) at notsorryeverybody@yahoo.com. |  |
Talk to me you silly little freaks! notnot@notsorrynoteverybody.com